


I Can’t Blame You (For What I Turned You In To)

by StoneyT456



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: 1x10 tag, Angst, Big angst, Hurt/Comfort, holy crap that finale tho, the both of them, tk AND owen need hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoneyT456/pseuds/StoneyT456
Summary: He runs over to his son, puts his gloved hand on his back, a mask on his face. He moves on autopilot, pushing to the back of his head anything other than get him out get him out get him out.And he does. The relief he feels at getting him out quickly leaves as he notices his son is falling to the ground. Collapsing in front of him. Again. He doesn't even have the strength to say anything to him.Not until his son just jumps up, going to the woman he saved."Woah, woah.""Hey, hey, hey." TK stumbles up to her, reaching for her hand. "Dad."And Owen stops. He knows TK will be fine. He knows that he is hooked on the same drug that he is. Knows that he has turned his son into the same kind of addict he is. And Owen doesn't have any right to critique him on it, to call his son out for being willing to sacrifice himself for a random stranger.Because after all, isn't Owen the one that taught TK how to do that?
Comments: 13
Kudos: 201





	1. Failures

**Author's Note:**

> This really is just a big thing of angst. I really have no words on the finale tonight. Please comment your thoughts because words just can’t express how beautiful some scenes in episode ten were.
> 
> (Please ignore crying induced spelling errors.)

Owen Strand had had a number of bad calls throughout his career. His worst call will always be the one that he got on September 11, 2001. 

Never in his life did he ever think that a call would even come remotely close to the devastation that that call had caused him. He never thought so, until he got the call from Carlos. 

It came over his radio after he had just jumped from the plane. His breath was still shaky and he could still feel the nerves coursing through him. He knew his team was worried, knew that they would most likely talk to him about this later. 

But the truth was, he was off his game without TK by his side and he had a feeling that the team knew that. TK, who was not only his son, but one of the best firefighters he knew. And to know that TK was doubting that, was blaming  _ him  _ for that... well it was just tearing him apart. 

For one, he knew that he needed to apologize to his son. A small part of him, deep down, knew that he had put his house first after 9/11. To him, it seemed like the logical thing to do, the moral thing to do. He never stopped to consider what that was doing to his son, never thought to stop and think that maybe that day, TK had lost his dad too, just in a different way. A way that yes, was less significant than the fourteen men that he lost on his crew, but was still significant, especially at such a young age. 

If Owen was honest with himself, really, truly honest, he knew why things didn't work out with TK's mom. It was because his work became his first priority and his family second. And he never really experienced the consequences of that. 

Sure there was the divorce, but he could just rationalize that with a piece of paper that said 'unreconcilable differences' but TK? TK was his son. TK was the most important thing to him in his entire life and to know that his son had struggled with this all along and he had not noticed? 

It messed him up inside. It threw him more than falling out of an airplane ever could. 

But he needed to do it, needed to prove to himself that it was worth it. That possibly screwing up the most important thing in the world to him was worth it to save countless others. That he needed to make that sacrifice. 

But when he heard Carlos's voice over his radio, he knew he could never trade TK's life for anyone's, rules, ethics, or morals be damned. TK was his son and there was absolutely nothing in this world that he wouldn't do to protect him. 

"Officer Reyes?" Owen inwardly flinched. It sounded too much like the tone he used that day at the hospital. "What's the matter? Did you notice that the city has gone to hell in a handbasket?" 

Owen didn't mean to sound rude, but he didn't have time for social calls. He walked away from his swarming team and listened to the radio crackle back with Carlos's voice. "Sir, it's TK." 

A million thoughts rushed through Owen's mind. A million different complications from the surgery, a million different possible things that could be wrong with his son. He had left him. Left him alone after being  _ shot.  _ Left him to go to his job. Left him just like he did when he was seven nineteen years ago. 

He forced himself to remain calm. "We were just having lunch and then the town went to shit and a car crashed and people were everywhere and freaking out and I don't-" 

Owen's world tilted. "Officer Reyes!" He shouted. He noticed the rest of the team turn to him in confusion, all of them unconsciously getting closer. Owen took a deep breath. "Son, I need you to calm down and tell me what happened." 

The radio was silent for half a second before Carlos's voice came back, calmer and more controlled than before. "There was an accident. TK ran in to help the driver while I moved the people back. He came back out, shouted something about an oil leak and then ran back in. I think he tore his stitches open." 

Owen didn't have to say anything. He honestly didn't even know if he could. Instead, it was Judd that took control. 

"Alright, people let's move!" He yelled. "126 get your butts in gear, we gotta go." 

Owen watched as Marjan, Paul, and Mateo got on the truck and Judd put his hand on Owen's shoulder. "Get that address and we can move." 

Judd just looked him in the eye. That was all the two men could do at the moment. Judd knew that there was absolutely nothing that he could say to Owen until they knew if TK was going to be okay, absolutely nothing that could make the situation okay. 

Carlos gave Owen the address. He remembers Mateo proudly saying that they were only five minutes out, but Owen didn't register anything. 

His son, his boy, he might be dead. He had almost died. Now they fought and he could be gone. 

Owen realizes in that moment that he never really processed TK being shot. If he's honest with himself he never processed TK's overdose. Never really even processed his addiction. 

He breaks down. 

But only internally, externally he remains stoic, remains the positive force his team expects him to be. 

But internally? He feels nothing short of pure unadulterated failure. Failure to be there for his son when he was seven, failure to be there for his son when he got a divorce, failure to be there for his son when he put him through another marriage with a woman who couldn't care if TK was alive or not, failure to be with him when he took his first pill at fourteen, failure to be there after his first overdose at eighteen, after his second at twenty-six. Failure after failure after failure. 

Failure to be there for TK after he was shot. Failure to recognize his son's pain. 

_ Failure.  _

He knows Mateo said it was a five-minute drive, but he swears it's an eternity. Because his life is playing before his eyes. Every single time he had let TK down. And what kills him, what really utterly destroys him is that TK has done his best not to ever let Owen down. 

That's why TK hid his addiction from him for four years, why TK didn't go to him about Alex, why TK had been an absolute rock during his cancer diagnoses. Because TK couldn't stand letting Owen down, and Owen couldn't do anything but let TK down. 

He hears Carlos's voice over the radio, and in the tenth of a second before he hears the static crackle and then Carlos's voice sends out a prayer that he wasn't too late, that he had a chance to make things right with his boy. 

"Captain Strand." 

"Go Officer Reyes." 

"How far out are you?" 

Owen casts his eyes towards Judd. "ETA two minutes captain!" 

Had it only been three minutes? "Two minutes." He tells the officer. 

"You need to make it faster." 

"Why?" Dear God why? 

"The van is on fire." 

Owen could swear later that he audibly heard his heart snap in two. 

He didn't know it was possible for the truck to go faster but it does. He gets there in one minute and instantly sees the problem. 

He wants to run out there to his son, consequences be damned. But Judd pulls him back. "I know exactly what you're thinking," the Texan tells him, "but if you run out there you're gonna get yourself and him killed. Put on your gear and make it damn fast." 

And Owen does. As soon as his gear is on and he gets the okay to go in he runs. He tears open the door of the van and there are no words to even describe how he is feeling. He sees his son, hunched over a body, slouched over and yet still going back to give her another breath. 

He can't think, can't move. Instead, he is so proud of his son and so, so scared. More scared than any other moment in his life. 

He is scared because his son was just shot in front of him. He's scared because his son is an addict and he has to live with that constant pull for the rest of his life. He is scared because he has lung cancer and if he dies he doesn't really know how TK will cope. And he's scared because he knows that if this doesn't kill TK, TK will become reaffirmed in his choice to be a firefighter and be more dedicated to it than anything else. And this fact alone gives him a fear so deep he lets it consume him because he knows that in this instant, TK is ready to die to help this woman and if he makes it through this, TK will continue to be willing to die for others until it kills him. 

Owen knows this better than he knows himself, knows it better than he knows his skincare routine, knows it better than he knows the side effects of addiction and how to deal with them. He knows that TK is going to get himself killed on the job because  _ he cares too much.  _

He runs over to his son, puts his gloved hand on his back, a mask on his face. He moves on autopilot, pushing to the back of his head anything other than  _ get him out get him out get him out.  _

And he does. The relief he feels at getting him out quickly leaves as he notices his son is falling to the ground. Collapsing in front of him. Again. He doesn't even have the strength to say anything to him. 

Not until his son just jumps up, going to the woman saved. 

"Woah, woah." 

"Hey, hey, hey." TK stumbles up to her, reaching for her hand. "Dad." 

And Owen stops. He knows TK will be fine. He knows that he is hooked on the same drug that he is. Knows that he has turned his son into the same kind of addict he is. And Owen doesn't have any right to critique him on it, to call his son out for being willing to sacrifice himself for a random stranger. Because after all, isn't Owen the one that taught TK how to do that?

And Owen can't think of anything to say to him. He can't handle having that conversation with his son. 

Instead, he just points to the ambulance. "Go on, get in." 

But TK stops him, latches onto him. "Thank you, thank you." 

Owen is shocked. TK pulls away from him. Gives him the same lost and hopeful look he gave Owen when Owen first found him after he OD'd after TK explained everything and Owen promised he'd help him, that they would get through this together. 

"You saved us." 

And Owen can't handle that. "I think everybody saved everybody here today." 

He can't let his son give him credit. Can't let him keep looking at him with that awe. Because he knows. Knows what it means. 

So instead he pushes his son away, pushes away the only thing that ever really mattered to him. "Go on, get in there." 

He watches as TK stumbles his way to the ambulance, is about to finally let himself breathe when Officer Reyes comes up to him. 

"He's an impressive guy." 

Owen is broken, but he has never been more proud. 

"He's my son." 


	2. His Son's Army

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not over that finale.

Owen stars at his son is disbelief as he sees him sitting on the bench, looking nervous and shaken. He looks at him confused, still shaken from seeing him at the intersection. 

He hears Mateo call out to him and wishes that he was able to possess his calm. "Aquaman, back on dry land." 

"What are you doing here? How did it go at the hospital?" Owen asks, missing Paul's nod and Marjan's smile at TK. 

"Nothing crazy," TK responds pointing at his chest. "They just added a couple extra stitches, I'm good." 

Owen knows he's lying. He knows because he has possibly never seen his son so worried before. Well, except at Owen's first chemo. TK had packed a bag with almost every natural supplement and care item known to man, making sure that whatever his dad needed he had. 

Owen cocks his head at him. "Why do you look like you're about to jump off of a cliff?" 

He doesn't mean for it to come out so sharp, so accusatory. He's not sure why, but he's having a hard time really even looking at his son. 

Deep down, he supposes he knows why. It's the thing that ate him up at the intersection, kept him from going to his son after he almost died... again. 

It was _guilt_ pure and utter guilt. Guilt over their fight, guilt over not being with TK, guilt over nineteen years of abandoning his son. And now there was something else wrong with TK and Owen could not handle it. 

He expects TK to brush him off. To ignore him. To smile and say that there was nothing wrong. Because that was what TK always did. That was what Owen expected him to do. But this time, TK just gives him a simple "Um," and walks past him. 

"Hey guys!" He calls out, still moving away from Owen. "Uh, I wanted to talk to you about something." 

Owen turns around to his team and he feels full of relief. Maybe he didn't know his son as well as he thought he did. Maybe this was him announcing that he was quitting, was no longer going to be a firefighter. Instead, he would move to something safer, something where Owen doesn't have to feel as though he is practically leading his son to the slaughterhouse every single time they go out on a call. 

Owen realized later that he made two very vital mistakes in that moment. The first was that he underestimated his son. He thought he was weak, thought that instead of TK feeling the same rush that he did he felt scared.

And the second mistake he made was that he allowed himself to hope. 

"And if you could bear with me cause... it's kinda a lot." 

He catches Judd looking at him, makes eye contact with the man's concerned gaze. Owen wants to nod at him, to let him know that this was okay. That this was what he wanted for his son. So what if Owen knew being a firefighter made TK happy? At that moment, Owen wanted him safe. He knew it was selfish but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"I'm an addict." 

Owen's world shifts for the second time that day. This was not where he thought TK was going to go, not what he ever really expected him to announce. Owen thought that TK's addiction would remain a secret until it came out from anyone other than TK himself. He never thought that he would see this moment, see his son opening up to a room full of people about his addiction. TK didn't even tell the team back in New York until that day with the battering ram. 

Yes, it was in his record, but only a few people had access to that and those that did only knew that he overdosed, not the circumstances behind it. 

He tries to stop him. Owen knows that its been a traumatic day, knows that his son is probably both emotionally and physically exhausted. He doesn't want him doing anything that he might regret later. 

And on top of that, he knows exactly where TK's line of thought it going. He knows his son better than he knows himself. He's not ready to let go of that hope yet. 

"TK," he tries, but TK stops him. 

"No dad, I need to do this... please." 

Owen looks down, knows that he's lost this battle. He doesn't know what this will change for the team, doesn't know how this will alter everything. But he knows from the look on his son's face that this is the best thing for TK to do. Even if Owen secretly doesn't want it, wants his son to walk away from the firefighting life, wants him to just leave, he _knows_ with everything in him that this is what his son needs to do. 

And as he looks at the concerned faces of his team, sees the empathy and overall love that they have for his son, he knows that no matter how selfish he wants to be, he can't take this away from his son. So he stands there and listens. 

"It's opioids. And a few months back, in New York, I... I had a relapse. A pretty bad one." 

Owen wants to snort at the understatement. He thinks his son is going to end it there but he keeps going. "I OD'd and um... my dad, well my captain, he found me unconscious. My heart had stopped. But he did what he does best. He saved my life." 

Owen's face is blank as he remembers that day. Remembers the fear as he called in his team, requests the battering ram. He remembers the fear he had at finding TK unconscious on the floor, wondering what the hell had just happened. 

The last time he had seen his son they had both been happy. TK was going to propose to Alex and Owen was going to be there for him. And now Owen has lung cancer and TK has relapsed. 

TK looks back at him and Owen's face doesn't change. Just stays blank. "The only reason I came down here is because he forced me to." 

The reality of the situation hits Owen like a truck. Hearing TK say it out loud to their entire team puts the final nail in his coffin. He looks down, glancing at the floor until he sees his son look back at him. 

"Uhm, what I'm trying to say is that I never really chose this for myself. Any of it. Not even becoming a firefighter." 

Owen wants to scream. To tell him that yes, all along he did have a chance. But he knows that TK is right. He realized it when he was seeing him passed out on the intersection. Owen never gave his son a chance. He never really let him have his own life. Owen takes a quick look at the circle of people around him. He sees Mateo's tears, Marjan's stoic face, lip trembling. He sees Judd's face, turned into a perfect mix of concern and understanding, sees Paul's eyes closed at everything he's hearing, everything he's just finding out. 

"I... well, uh..." Owen knows his son is struggling to get out what he wants to say. But Owen couldn't find it in himself to help him because he knew where this conversation was going. While the others may be fooled, may think that this was TK's going away speech, Owen knew exactly what TK was going to say from the moment he opened his mouth. He knew that there was no way TK would tell them about his overdose and then leave, he knew that TK was building up to tell the team that he was staying. 

And if TK stayed, Owen knew his son would get himself killed and how could anyone ask Owen to help his son do that?

Instead, Judd does. "Hey, hey." He reaches his arm out to TK's shoulder. "Whatever you gotta say right here, say it yeah?" 

Paul reaches out too. "He's right man, we got you fam." 

And Owen knows that's what will do it. And Owen hates being right. 

"You know what, that's the point. Because today at that intersection, when that woman was dying, I would've-" he takes a breath," I would've given her everything I had to save her." 

Owen takes in a breath as he hears his worst fears verbalized. 

"And I did give her everything I had, but it wasn't enough." He turns back to Owen and Owen knows he looks destroyed. "Because then you showed up."

"All you guys. And I knew in that instant that not only was she going to be okay, but that I was going to be okay too because this is what I want to do for the rest of my life." 

Owen wants to scream at his team. He sees Paul and Judd's wide smiles, hears Mateo and Marjan give out small relieved chuckles. But Owen is heartbroken. Now more than ever because his son just admitted that he would risk his life to save everyone for the rest of his life. 

And Owen knows he should be happy, knows he should be proud, but damn it he can't because he loves his son more than anything in the world and he just almost lost him twice and he can't ever go through that again. He can't ever lose his boy... especially knowing that if TK is killed in the line of duty it would be all Owen's fault. 

TK chuckles. "And at least for now, this is where I want to do it. With you guys! So, I chose this family. This is where I belong." 

He turns back to Owen a final time and Owen still can't even manage to give his son a fake smile. Instead, his face is full of pride and hurt, of deep, deep sorrow and yet the deepest love he has ever felt. 

"So um... no yeah that's all I got." TK laughs. 

Mateo announces they're doing a group hug and Owen stays back while he watches all of them surround his son. He looks at all of them as TK complains. He sees Mateo rest his head on his son's shoulder. Notices how Paul puts his arm around TK's back but is careful not to touch his shoulder at all. He watches on as Judd puts his hand on TK's head and kisses the top of his hair, something that Owen himself has done countless times. He can't help but smile as Marjan winks at him from where she is up next to Judd and Mateo, leaning into TK. 

Owen's whole face changes at that scene. He sees his team, his people, his family. 

All this time he had thought of them as his team, his family, but for some reason, he never thought of them as TK's too. But as he watches them hug and tease each other, he sees the love that each one of them has for his son. He sees how Judd thinks of TK not really as a brother, but almost as a son. He sees Judd have that same attitude towards Mateo. And while Owen could feel threatened by that, it just makes him feel at peace. 

Because if Judd possessed even a fraction of the love that he had for TK, he knew that Judd would be watching TK's back with everything he had. 

He saw Mateo act as TK's little brother, of the force that would keep expecting him to get back up, someone TK could count on to always be there with a hug or a coffee or to tease someone else with. 

He saw Paul as TK's big brother. He knew that Paul and TK had grown close, knew that the two of them had had some nights out together. TK saw Paul as a confidant and this is confirmed when Paul gave him another hug after everyone else had left. Paul had even muttered an "I'm so proud of you." which made Owen's heart swell. 

He saw Marjan as TK's sister, as someone who would beat the shit out of anyone that hurt him, that would help him succeed. 

He saw all of this. Saw the team be a family to his son. 

He knew that he would never get over TK being a firefighter, knew that it would haunt him for as long as he lived. But maybe, just maybe, he could sleep easier at night knowing that his son had an army of people watching out for him. 

He feels a weight lifted off his chest. "Alright hit the showers. I'm proud of every one of you." 

Marjan smiles at him. "Don't you mean every one of y'all?" 

"Yeah, that too." 

He turns to his son, his number one priority. Some of the weight may have been lifted but not all of it. He has to make sure. 

He touches his shoulder. "Are you sure about this? It's been a traumatic day, an emotional time you do not have to make this decision right now." 

"Dad... I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life." 

And Owen feels the weight gone completely. He knows he still blames himself, will still live in guilt of his failures in the past and will still deal with guilt every single time his boy is hurt out on a call. He knows each time TK gets even a splinter it will tear Owen up inside. 

But seeing the smile on TK's face. Seeing the joy that hadn't been there since he was seven years old... Owen couldn't do anything except completely envelope his son in a hug. He felt all of his emotions from the past day come out as he squeezed onto TK tighter, patting his arm. 

He finally broke the hug. He was trying his best not to cry and he knew that TK knew that too "Alright, I got some paperwork I need to finish up and then I thought maybe..." he trails off after he spots Officer Reyes in the doorway. 

He can't stop himself from asking. "How many life decisions did you make today?" In the back of his head, he half expected Carlos to be wearing a ring. 

"One step at a time dad," his son smiles. "I'll see you at home." 

He watches as TK walks away and hears him exhale as he looks up. He sees the joy on Carlos's face as his son walks up to him. 

Owen knows his job won't get easier, knows his worry won't go away. He knows he has a long road ahead and so does TK. 

But in this moment... he knows that they are both gonna be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter! I rewatched that scene like 80 times while writing this. There will be one more chapter as a type of epilogue, set immediately after the ending of 1x10. 
> 
> Drop a comment if you like it! I should have chapter three by tomorrow and in the meantime, go check out my other Lone Star fic. 
> 
> Thanks!


	3. Epilogue

TK knew his dad better than anyone on the entire planet and he would argue the same goes for his dad knowing him. It hadn't always been like that between the two of them. 

After TK overdosed for the first time when he was eighteen, Owen realized that he had no idea what was going on with his son. He realized that his first divorce had hit his son harder than he let on and that his second marriage had hit him even harder. Found that his second wife couldn't care less about TK's existence, that she had even had the nerve to tell his son to leave, practically kicked him out after high school. 

So TK had been on his own, living in a ratty apartment in the city. He was on his last leg of training when Owen got a call that TK had missed the exam. Owen tracked down TK's apartment, ashamed that he had to call TK's mom for the address. And when he got there... saw TK passed out on the floor, an empty bottle of pills next to him, his son all skin and bones, Owen realized he had failed in the biggest way possible. 

He got TK help, divorced his wife, and spent every waking moment making sure that his son had a full recovery. And Owen thought he was doing a good job, thought that he and TK were closer than ever, and then Alex entered the picture. 

Alex was never right for TK and Owen didn't know why TK didn't see that. Owen thought that it was because Alex offered TK independence. Encouraged him to move out of his dad's house and get his own apartment for the first time since his overdose. Owen knew that Alex didn't really like him either, thought that it was weird for TK to not only work with his dad but want to spend time with him after work too. So Owen watched as his son got pulled away from him, TK too naive and trusting to understand what Alex was doing to him, to them. 

But Owen had pride. He had warned TK about Alex and TK didn't listen so Owen just sat back and waited for the relationship to splinter and TK to come back to Owen. He thought that it would be a good learning experience for TK. A good reality check for him. 

So when TK told him he was going to propose, he kept his mouth shut. And when he found TK passed out on the floor in a manner oh so familiar to the first time he OD'd six years ago, he knew he made a mistake. 

So he packed up him and his son, moved halfway across the country, forced his son to live with him and attend therapy, and jammed the pieces of their lives together until they fit back to where they used to be. 

His cancer diagnosis didn't fit anywhere in this so he ignored it until his son approached him with tears in his eyes and accusations in his voice. Owen underestimated his son again, a mistake he told himself he would never make again. 

And then TK got shot. 

But he got better. 

But Owen didn't. 

And TK noticed. 

And TK wasn't afraid to tell his dad he did. 

It happened in a way that was also familiar to Owen, familiar to when TK had sat up waiting for him to confront him about his diagnosis, about the pills he had found in his dad's desk. 

There TK was, a ball of nervous energy, waiting for Owen. 

He stood up as soon as his dad walked in and Owen was immediately put on guard. "TK what are you doing up?" Owen asked concerned. "You should be in bed." 

"Dad I need to talk to you about something." 

Owen prepared himself for the worse. He swore that whatever it was, he would stand by his son. "Whatever is wrong I am here." 

TK's hands kept rubbing together, twisting back and forth in his lap. "Well, it's not about me." 

Owen's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "Then about who?" 

"Well, it's kinda about me." TK lamented. "Or at least I think it is." 

"Son, you're not making sense." 

TK stopped and looked up at Owen. "Are you okay?" He spat out. 

"Am... am I okay?" Owen asked, a little lost. "You were just shot." He stated factually. 

"That's the point!" TK said, now pacing a bit. "I was shot right in front of you and I know how traumatic that can be and Judd and Paul said you were acting a bit weird and they said that-" 

"Wait," Owen interrupted, "Judd and Paul called you about me?" 

"Well, Paul texted, Judd called. But Mateo and Marjan both stopped by to talk." 

"About me?" Owen asked, still confused. 

"Well yeah." 

"But why?" 

"Because you're their captain and they were worried about you. And so am I. Dad, you know that I don't blame you right? I mean, if that was what you were worried about. Did something happen with your cancer? Is that it or is it-" 

Owen put his hand on TK's shoulder. "Son, I've just been worried about you a lot lately. If I was acting any different that's why. But now that you're okay, so am I." 

Owen made to go leave but TK called out to him. "Are you really though, dad?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"Well, you still seem... off." 

Owen sighed. "I just... you almost died TK. Twice. And again at the beginning of the year and again six years ago and every single time it happens I feel like..." Owen paused. "Well, I feel like a horrible dad." 

"Dad, none of any of that was your fault." 

"Isn't it though? Why did you first get addicted to opioids, TK?" Owen sat down on the couch, looking at TK. He knew that he was about to unload, but keeping it all inside for so long had finally caused him to explode. "Because I know that was my fault. I know if I hadn't of married... her that you probably would have never touched a pill. Hell, if I had never divorced your mom you probably would have been healthy, would have been a lawyer or something safe like that." 

"Dad I-" 

"And if I had put my foot down about Alex? Explained to you what he was doing? Been more adamant that you stayed with me? What then. And when you got shot? That was my call to breach the door. I should have known there was a gun and a scared kid in there. And then what did I do? I brought a date to your hospital room. And then I left you, I left you all by yourself after you came to me for help and you almost died again. I just keep failing and failing as your dad, TK. I don't deserve you or the 126." 

TK stared at his dad in shock. All throughout his life, he can count on one hand the number of times he had ever heard his dad doubt himself. He always assumed his dad was confident in himself and his decisions. He never thought for one second his dad had insecurities. But that wasn't fair to his dad. And seeing Owen on the couch, his head in his hands, TK began to realize this. 

"Dad," TK began, putting his hand on his dad's knee, "my addiction started because of me and me only. I didn't know how to cope with what I was going through and instead of going to you or mom or anyone else, I chose to go to drugs." 

Owen tried to interrupt him but TK stopped him. "I know the science of it, dad trust me. Once you start... it's..." TK took a deep breath, "sometimes it feels impossible to stop. But none of that is on you. And Alex?" TK threw his hands in the air. "That's nobody's fault except Alex's. And my relapse? Once again, that's on me. As far as you bringing a date to my bedside vigil, yeah that was a bit weird, but it was so genuinely you." 

Owen smiled at him. "Yeah, that is a pretty _me_ move." 

TK chuckled. "Yeah it really is. And you left me on my own because you trust and respect me. And as far as I'm concerned, if you think you're a failure as a dad or as a captain, that's on me and the rest of the team cause I can't think of anybody more qualified for both jobs." 

Owen looked up at him. "TK," he said shaking his head. 

"No, dad I'm serious! I mean, you are always there for me and the team! You're the most supportive captain ever." 

"But am I really?" 

TK frowned at him. "What do you mean?" 

"A couple days ago you said I left you. Left you when you were seven. After 9/11." 

TK rubbed the back of his neck. "Dad I, I didn't mean it like that. I just..." 

"No, TK, you're right. And using 9/11 to excuse my behavior was a dishonor to you and the people that died that day." 

"Dad I wouldn't go that far. It was rude and inconsiderate of me to-" 

"To want a dad that actually stayed around? That didn't miss birthdays, games, or school pickups?" 

"I mean..." TK looked up. "Dad can we just... can we put all this behind us? I was just being emotional the other day." 

Owen shook his head. "We can after I say this." Owen took a deep breath. "Son, I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I am going to try and do better." 

TK smiled and shook his head as well. "Well then let me say this. I'm sorry that you don't think you're anything but a perfect dad and I will try and do better to make sure you know that." 

Owen stood up and hugged his son, the two of them needing it. 

"Hey dad?" TK muttered in his father's shoulder. 

"Yes son?" 

"I think we're gonna be just okay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three of three is done! I just finished my other 911 Lone Star fic so I think I'm gonna start a new one soon. Too many prompts to fill up all this extra time I just got cause all my classes have moved online. 
> 
> Hopefully I'll be able to post more 911 Lone Star fics soon! Comment and kudos if you liked this one or if you have any prompt ideas. 
> 
> Thanks!

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I wrote this because although I LOVED the finale, I felt that the scene where Owen rescues TK was a little out of character for Owen, just him telling TK to leave after TK hugged him (like... not even an “I love you” or “glad you’re okay” or even really a return to his hug) and I thought that maybe this was why.
> 
> Be on the lookout for part two (because there will be one gosh dang it because TK told the team AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM)


End file.
